![\"Chuck](\"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Chuck-Sandy191-150x150.jpg\")
by Chuck Sandy<\/p>\nby Chuck Sandy<\/p>\n
I hadn\u2019t realized my 10th grade math teacher had been watching me struggle, but as I closed my book and put my pencil down in frustration she walked over and asked me if I was alright. \u201cNo, I\u2019m not all right. I can\u2019t do this,\u201d I said. She pulled up a chair and sat down. Then she asked, \u201care you using everything you\u2019ve been given to solve the problems?\u201d<\/p>\n
Thinking she might be criticizing me, I got defensive. \u201cOf course I am,\u201d I said angrily. \u201cI don\u2019t think you are,\u201d she replied as she opened my book back up to the proper page. \u201cWho have you asked for help?\u201d I thought about this for a moment and said, \u201cNo one.\u201d She handed me my pencil and said, \u201cthen you haven\u2019t used everything you\u2019ve been given to solve your problems. Let\u2019s get to work.\u201d
\nAs I noted her use of the word let\u2019s<\/i> and her shift from the problems<\/i> to your problems<\/i> she asked if I was willing to let her help me. I agreed I was and she promised that she would. Then for the last few weeks of that semester between classes, during class, and after school she set aside time to work with me.<\/p>\n
Whenever I didn\u2019t understand something she\u2019d say, \u201cso you\u2019re not ready do to X yet and that\u2019s ok. I know you can do Y though, so let\u2019s go back to that point and figure out where we got lost. Meanwhile, try this.\u201d Then she\u2019d offer me some new strategy to use on a problem I could<\/i> do, and when I used that successfully she\u2019d congratulate me. \u201cSee, I knew you could do it,\u201d she\u2019d say. Eventually I started to believe her and as I did something changed inside me. I started to feel good about myself and looked forward to her class. Maybe I wasn\u2019t a failure after all.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s why it wasn\u2019t a catastrophe when my high score on the final exam wasn\u2019t enough to save me from getting an F in the course. Yes, I failed the course, but because this teacher had given me a place to stand, a way forward and a path out, the second time through her course I came pretty close to getting an A.<\/p>\n
More importantly, I finally broke out of the cycle of failure I\u2019d gotten trapped in.<\/p>\n
Over the years I\u2019ve thought a lot about this teacher and the way she\u2019d helped me to break the cycle. By the time I\u2019d gotten to her class in 10th grade I knew for a fact that I couldn\u2019t do math. I was also pretty sure I was a loser and that everyone knew it. Though I could tell you the long story about how I\u2019d come to believe this about myself, I don\u2019t really need to because my story could be anyone\u2019s story.<\/p>\n
You hit a bad patch, skip a few classes, and now you have no idea what\u2019s going on. Then you move to a seat in the back of the class and hope no one will notice how lost you are. You haven\u2019t done your homework because you don\u2019t know how so why even bother? Then what\u2019s this? It\u2019s a quiz on which you just scored close to zero. All you want to do is get out of that room where you\u2019re failing and find some place where you possibly could feel better about yourself.<\/p>\n
But that\u2019s when your teacher decides to pull you over and tell you that you really need to try harder and wonders why you\u2019re so unmotivated and says something like \u201cyou\u2019re going to fail my class unless you shape up\u201d without giving you a clue about how you might do that. That\u2019s what my 6th grade math teacher told me before adding \u201cand don\u2019t ever come to this room without your homework done.\u201d<\/p>\n
All that talk does is scare you and when you do come back with your homework done it\u2019s all wrong because you still don\u2019t know how to do it. But all you get is that lecture again and then you fail and you fail and you fail and now it\u2019s not just that one class. It\u2019s everything and you\u2019re sinking fast and there\u2019s no place to stand until you get to the 10th grade and you\u2019re lucky enough to have a teacher who gives you one. Yet there\u2019s more to the story as there always is.
\nThere\u2019s also the story about how much easier it is to turn on the television or hang out with friends than it is to work at something you\u2019re not good at. Then there\u2019s the story about not fitting in with your peers or maybe you come from a family who doesn\u2019t have much and your whole life is a struggle, or maybe it\u2019s that you\u2019re overweight or your clothes are out-of-style hand-me-downs or you don\u2019t feel well or you\u2019re depressed but you know this part of the story, too. There are a million reasons why someone might start the slide into failure and wind up in danger. Failure is complex, multi-layered and human. No one is immune.<\/p>\n
Whatever the reasons students might get trapped in a cycle of failure, I\u2019ve never seen any of mine get out of that trap because someone\u2019s given them a lecture about trying harder or because they\u2019ve seen some meme on social media about how failure is just a part of success so stand up when you fall down. The only times I\u2019ve seen real change made were those times when someone pulled up a chair like my 10th grade math teacher did and offered a place to stand. Then even if a failing grade should still happen, that not really<\/i> failure because there\u2019s now at least the possibility that the cycle of failure could be broken.<\/p>\n
I learned this as I was failing a 10th grade math class. None of this is easy and there are no guarantees it will work, but I\u2019ve learned that the way out begins by asking are you alright? Are you using everything you\u2019ve been given to solve this problem. Who have you asked for help? Well, I\u2019m willing to help you if you want some help and yes, I do understand you can\u2019t do this now, but I know you can do this other thing and here\u2019s how we could get started on that.<\/p>\n
That this offer of help is sometimes rejected hardly matters. Even pulling up that chair and making the offer let\u2019s students know that their struggle has been acknowledged, that there\u2019s a place to stand if they want one, that there is a way forward and a path out. It says I know this is hard for you but I\u2019m here if you need me. You could open your book, pick up your pencil, and we could begin here.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Chuck Sandy I hadn\u2019t realized my 10th grade math teacher had been watching me struggle, but as I closed my book and put my pencil down in frustration she walked over and asked me if I was alright. \u201cNo, I\u2019m not all right. I can\u2019t do this,\u201d I said. She pulled up a chair … Continue reading Breaking The Cycle of Failure<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4925,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[101],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5460","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-failure"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5460","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5460"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5460\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4925"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/itdi.pro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}